Why Having a Toddler is Like Being at a Frat Party

I just saw this list at the Suburban Snapshots Blog and thought it was too cute not to share!

My favorite:
8. It's best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.

A lot of it also applies to having pets. Especially:
6. Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.

I could add some of my own:

• There is usually someone running around naked (not naming any names).
• There is a lot of loud (bad) music and (worse) dancing.
• At any given time someone is using poor judgment.
• Toilet paper everywhere!
• Poor personal hygiene.
• Screaming!
• Crazy hats! (that was just one party I remember, in particular....)
• The drooling....

Verbose

Sam has a few more words in his vocabulary.

A sampling:

Sit

Moo (what he calls a cow)

Thank you

Bite

More

Applesauce

When he speaks he always sounds like he has a vaguely foreign accent. "Sit" sounds like "Zzzt." "Moo" sounds very French, something like, "Mmmmmuh." "Thank you" really isn't recognizable to anyone but me and may just be wishful thinking. "Applesauce" is hilarious, and I really need to get it on video. It's something like "Ap-luh-sh." And he has started saying "Mommy" a lot, but in a very British way, pronounced "Mummy," with the emphasis on the first syllable. As in, "Mummy, do be a dear and remove me from this dreadful crib and give me some warm milk, won't you?" I think he's been watching too many Family Guy reruns.

18 Months

Sam is 18 months old today!


Here is a snapshot of his world.
Favorite books: "My First Words," and "Dog"
Favorite food: Pizza
Favorite TV show: Nick Jr.'s "Fresh Beat Band"
Favorite beverage: Milk
Second favorite beverage: Water (don't try to give him apple juice, but he has been known to sneak a sip of iced tea)
Favorite outings: Harris Teeter, the park, Starbucks (Gawd, could we be more suburban...I'm not even going to mention how much he likes Costco)
Best friend: Pete
Number of words he knows: 18 (a sampling: owl, apple, snack, bye-bye, night-night, dog, cat, no, ball)
Current obsession: hanging upside down
Dislikes: sleeping, having his diaper changed, not getting a snack upon request, not getting a snack quickly enough upon request, not getting the right snack (Wheeeee!)
Latest milestones: Shaking his head for "no" (pretty charming, actually). Putting two words together to make a sentence. Just this morning, he said "Bye, Bye, Daddy."


Sam and Bruce at last weekend's St. Patrick's Day Parade.

Hello

My heart is melting.

Ask His Father

I'm not sure what the story is here...I just found this photo in the camera.


Please direct all eating-in-the-nude related queries to Bruce. Also, yes, that is a bike bottle from which Sam drinks (you'll have to click on the photo to see the whole thing) ... another question for Bruce. I buy Sam cute little cups with his name on them. I buy Sam shirts. And yet here we are.

Spring Forward with Sam

Here are some new words Sam knows, which he practiced this past weekend.

Hat


Pete (pronounced "Beet")


No (pronounced, "No, no, no!" and accented with a vigorous head shake)


Baby

(OK, so this one is your Throwback Thursday a couple of days early, but Sam did learn the word "Baby" this weekend)

Throwback Thursday

I can't believe it's already Thursday again. Since my last post it has been like the world has stopped. Sam got sent home last Thursday with a stomach bug and has yet to be allowed back in school (actually, we tried to send him back on Tuesday, but he promptly returned home by 8:30 a.m., wearing his back-up outfit and carrying his soiled clothes in a plastic grocery bag like a little toddler hobo).

Bruce and I both caught Sam's bug simultaneously last Friday night, so we all endured one of those weekends that was once not even imaginable to me. Tomorrow's to-do list includes, of course, more laundry and finding someone to clean our rugs. Our rugs had a worse weekend than we did.

So, for this week's Throwback Thursday, we'll remember happier times ... when our house didn't smell like stale vomit. Enjoy.


Sam, four months

Throwback Thursday

Sam is getting to be such a big boy. At 17 months and counting, he is in full-on, no-holds-barred, toddler mode. If he wants a cup then you better get that cup fast, but, oh no, he doesn't say "cup," he just screams and flails about until you figure out he means "cup," BUTNOTTHEBLUECUPWITHTHEBEARONITTHEGREENCUPWITHTHEDINOSAURANDNOTCHEERIOSINITBUTGOLDFISH.
Only try to figure out he means that without him actually saying that, just screaming and pointing wildly. And don't forget that "nana" sometimes means banana, but sometimes it means bottle, or yogurt, or kiss my ass. I'm not sure about that last one, but I think sometimes that's what it means.

That boy. With the screaming. It is too much.

But I digress. Sam is such a big boy that I now look longingly back at the precious photos of quieter days when he was just a baaaaby. My precious, precious, quiet little angel baby (Bruce would insert here that Sam was never the quiet type, but in my sepia-toned memories, he would just lie there and smile at me). I have found quite the treasure trove of old(ish) photos of Sam and am starting a new series called Throwback Thursday...where we can all celebrate BABY SAM together! We miss you baby Sam!


Sam, month 7